Hey friends! Look at me, all being updated. You can thank summer for that!

As usual around this time of year, I would like to share with you all the quotes that my students have collected over the past school year. I hope they bring you a little more sunshine on this summer day!

This year there are two categories: "New Theatre Guild Motto?" (quotes taken out of context that could describe the entire organization) and "Staff & Student Quotes" (my co-workers' names are starred for your convenience!).

Let the fun begin!

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New Theatre Guild Motto?

Max: "Real guns are scary!"
-9.16.09
(true! that's why we use fake ones!)

Stephanie: "At this point I am willing to kill an audience member to make it look good"
-1.16.09
(we get pretty desperate when we're running out of time!)

Evan P: "It's only a problem if it ACTUALLY catches on fire"
-1.16.09
(um... agreed?)

Nick: "Just because something is 'too short' doesn't mean it's 'not good enough'!"
-2.18.09
(he was talking about lumber, but I think it can be said for crew members, too!)

Leslie: "Everything must support everything else"
-3.27.09
(again, it was originally said about sets, but we need it in the company, right?)

Leslie: "This would be so much easier if I wasn't so lazy!"
-4.17.09
(yes, yes it would)

Elayne: "It's not stealing if it's on the internet!"
-5.14.09
(is it?)

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Let me briefly interrupt these quotes to show you a picture that one of my juniors, Evan, drew for me as a birthday present:

So, I totally love this picture. I absolutely think it's an amazing piece of work! However, I was a little skeptical that he really captured "my look". I mean, do my eyes actually do that when I smile?

Then I remembered a picture that you might be familiar with from a bowling outing I wrote about a couple years ago:

As it turned out, Evan's a better artist than I realized!

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Staff & Student Quotes

Ciara: "I can't tell you how much I have to go to the bathroom right now"
Leslie: "No! I don't want to do that!"
Ciara: "You don't have to, I do!"
Leslie: "What??"
-9.3.09
(at first I thought, 'oh, that's sweet she wants to help me', but apparently she was talking to someone else the entire time!)

Ciara: "You can have a piece of my toppings! ... don't write that down!"
-9.8.08
(I think I was eating a salad and that was my way of offering someone a carrot. I hope that's what I meant)

Andrew: "Why do we have to do inventory again?"
Avi: "Because this one is wrong"
Andrew: "How?"
Avi: "Because somehow I got 12 plus 1 equaling 25!"
-9.9.08
(sometimes maths are hard)

Leslie: "I'll just call myself 'Leslie'- nobody will be able to tell the difference!"
-9.10.08
(maybe because it's your actual name, Leslie? in her defense, everyone in theater calls her 'Lassie' so I can see how she'd be confused)

Ciara: "Are the audience-abuse lights on during the Act 1 Finale?"
*Mysti: "Yes, because they will all be leaving"
Nick: "The audience??"
*Mysti: "We hope not! The characters on stage will be leaving!"
-9.11.08
('audience-abuse lights' are when we shine stage lights at the audience, so it was a valid question. some audience members may want to leave in that situation!)

Nick: "Look at it, it's sagging!"
Ciara: "Just like your jowls! ... sorry"
-9.24.08
(it's not true - he certainly doesn't have saggy jowls. sometimes I just say stuff without thinking at all!)

Ciara: "Did you wash your hands recently?"
Kate: "No, I am still making a baby!"
-10.2.08
(what a reason to not wash her hands! she was making prop babies)

Elayne: "Are we making any more signs for 'Miss Saigon'?"
Raye: "Yes, they are going to say 'Girls, Girls, Girls'"
Leslie: "In Japanese?"
Raye: "No, in English, but it'd be in Chinese anyway"
Elayne: "In Korean! I mean Vietnamese! ... Wait, is that a language?"
-10.17.08
(oh man, the public schools at work!)

*Ciara jumps off a platform and falls down in pain*
Ciara: "Ouch, my feet!!"
Devin: "You didn't fall right. You need to bend your knees and bounce off the balls of your feet"
Ciara: "But my balls hurt!"
-11.9.08
(classic)

Ciara: "If only we were born a couple of long times ago, we could have had a pet dinosaur!"
-11.12.08
(sometimes I want to believe that there was a brief period of world history where dinosaurs and humans existed at the same time. it'd be so cool)

Ciara: "Is 'Max' short for something?"
Max: "What? No, I can reach! I can do it!"
-11.17.08
(I meant short for 'Maxwell' or something of course, but he thought I was accusing him of not being tall enough!)

*Ciara hands Leslie the phone*
Ciara: "Here Leslie, read this"
-11.21.08
(hahaha. I am so weird)

Ruby: "Most of the people I've been talking to lately have been... people"
-11.21.08
(very descriptive!)

*Everyone crowds into Mysti's office*
John: "Oooh, this must be the hot spot over here!"
Ciara: "YOU must be the hot spot... over... uh... nevermind!"
-12.15.08
(think before you speak, Ciara!)

*Nick yells at Max*
Max: "F#$k you!"
Danica: "No! He's too small to swear!"
-12.17.08
(yeah, sophomores shouldn't know those words! and no one should say them in my shop anyway!)

Helen: "That's 1/2 of a baby... approximately"
-1.8.09
(when you make lots of prop babies, sometimes you begin using them as a measuring tool)

Rory: "I didn't know the Cool Whip was there- all I saw backstage was a bag and a monkey!"
1.21.09
(best when taken completely out of context!)

Max: "I need to contact some hospitals"
-1.24.09
(he got hit in the EYE with a piece of scenery. like the actual eye. I wasn't there that day, go figure)

*Mysti: "Do we have class meetings on Wednesday?"
Leslie: "We did LAST weekend"
-3.2.09
(Leslie gets words mixed up a LOT. she's my protégé!)

Max: "Rhyming is in the eye of the beholder"
-3.4.09
(this is the most adorable thing anyone has ever said. especially because it's so not true)

Ciara: "Hey Devin, I think I came up with a cure for whistling!"
-4.26.09
(um, like stopping? I meant a cure 'for hiccups' which happened to be 'whistling'. that theory has since been disproved, by the way!)

*Ciara eats a delicious orange*
Erik: "Did you know that 100% of the people who ate 98% of the oranges 50% of last week got swine flu?"
-5.5.09
(ah, kids are so cute with fictional statistics)

Ciara: "Max, is the toilet in YOUR house that far downstage?"
-5.12.09
(I just wanted the set of a bathroom to look realistic... and I get confused about directions sometimes)

Reid: "Crap, I don't have a family yet!"
Ciara: "Good! You're too young to have a family"
Reid: "No! In Taiwan!"
-5.14.09
(like that'd make me feel better! actually, he was looking for his foreign exchange host family for next year)

Erik: "I feel like you can replace anything with 'poop'"
-5.21.09
(he meant replace any noun/verb with 'poop'. he said it so confidently. but he was also suffering from the flu)

*Susan: "Ciara is a scalding hott mess"
-5.26.09
(I am going to take it as a compliment even though it so wasn't one at the time!)

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Despite what these quotes may imply, we really are quite competent when it comes to theatrical things! We had a great year! Hope you enjoyed!

And congratulations to our seniors! We'll miss you!

The 2009 seniors on the set of our spring show Urinetown