Hey kids. Now that the school year is finally over, it's time to post the quotes my students collected from this season! Yippee!

For those of you just joining me for the first time, it has been the yearly tradition in the Scene Shop to write down the ridiculous things that everyone says during the long hours of set-building. My students have grown to love (or at least tolerate) my affection for double-meanings, misspeakings, and confusion.

When someone hears a silly quote, he or she writes it down and "posts" it on the door to the tool cabinet for all to see. And it's not surprising that most of the theater students think my crew in particular is slightly crazy. :) Well, I am their leader, so what can they expect?

The quotes this year are separated into 3 categories: Possible Theatre Guild Motto, Staff Quotes, and Student Quotes. Hope you enjoy!

*****

New Theatre Guild Motto?
(when people make general statements about life at theater, we like to take it out of context and pretend it could be our motto!)

Leslie: "Home is for losers!"
-9/21/07 (we ended up saying that a lot this year!)

Helen: "Everything is bad!"
Miriam: "Oh, but I love you!"
Helen: "Everything is bad and not even Miriam's love can fix it!"
-4/17/08 (aw)

Tim McDonald: "I felt like I was in an insane asylum... and I liked it!"
-5/3/08 (not a bad assessment from the writer of our spring musical!)

*****

Staff Quotes:
(I don't know if I am proud or embarrassed that most of these are from me!)

Bobby (sound), Mysti (technical director), David (paint), Ian (lights), Ciara (hm... dunno)

Ciara: "I've got to urinate, so if you guys could leave the office, that would be great"
-9/11/07 (I had to lock the office before walking to the bathroom!)

Ciara: "Look! I got my nails did! I'm a GIRL!"
-10/22/07 (apparently the kids were surprised by that observation)

Ciara: "Aw, that whole mirthday is about your bovie!"
-10/24/07 (I was commenting on leslie's Birthday, which is on november 5, like the time-traveling day in the movie 'back to the future', and I just mussed it all up)

Ciara: "Amira! You're holding that at some weird angle that would never exist in real life"
-10/28/07 (oops! I guess if she's holding something at that angle, it probably DOES exist in real life)

Ian: "Yesterday I went to a regurgi- um, a regurgitation? Wait, what's the word for the thing after a wedding?"
-10/28/07 (reception! but I am sure some people regurgitate at receptions!)

Ciara: "My think happens faster that my think- I mean my mouth! My mouth goes faster than my think! Yeah. No! My write! I think faster than I write!"
-12/4/07 (oh geez)

Ciara: "I got a lot of bills in the laundry today"
-3/13/08 (or the mail!)

David: "I'd better go tell my crew what to paint"
Ciara: "Well maybe they will just paint from the heart"
David: "Ug. There is nothing I hate more than painting from the heart"
-3/19/08 (says the artist!)

Bobby: "With oil clay and Bondo you could do all the nuts in like 3 hours"
-3/24/08 (making prop walnuts)

Ciara: "There'd better be cheesy chips in the shop... and they'd better be working!"
-4/3/08 ('they' = 'the sets crew'... I wasn't expecting the cheesy chips to be working!)

David: "I went on stage without my head... but as it turned out, I didn't need it anyway"
-4/4/08 (David's also an actor, and he forgot his puppet prop at one of his performances)

Mysti: "Whatever. I'm going to go cut an explosion"
-4/9/08 (sounds like a euphemism, huh? she had to jigsaw the shape of 'exploding candy' out of a piece of wood)

Ciara: "Leslie, the longer Andrew shines that flashlight in my eyes, the further your pencils are going up my nose"
-4/30/08 (I need to find creative ways to threaten them sometimes!)

Alec: "Watch your heads!"
Ciara: "The thing about 'watching your head' is that you CAN'T!"
-5/7/08 (yeah, how did that phrase ever catch on?)

*****

Student Quotes:
(they may just be a bunch of faces and words to you, but they are my babies!)

Andrew, Jenny, Rae, Devin, Josh,
Hannah, Leslie, Nick, Max M, Amira,
Miriam, Erik, Helen, Alec, and Jaren!

Jaren: "He has been defeated by his own cowardice"
-9/24/07

Jaren: "If grass was made of lumber, I'd cut the lawn more"
-9/25/07

Ciara: "This drill doesn't cooperate"
Leslie: "YOU doesn't cooperate"
-10/23/07

Jaren: "I know why it's bad- I just can't wrap my legs around it"
-10/24/07 (he didn't mean 'I can't wrap my mind around it'; he literally couldn't get the leverage he needed to drill by holding the wood with his legs!)

Hannah: "Are you ever so full that it hurts to bend over?"
-10/27/07 (I can't say I have been!)

Leslie: "Oh, no! It's all brokes!"
-10/27/07 (english!)

Helen: "My pants are on now"
Ciara: "That's what I like to hear!"
-11/2/07 (she was letting me know it was okay to enter the room after she changed clothes)

Max M: "Go away, garbage! Get in my digestive system!"
-11/2/07 (um. what does that even mean?)

Leslie: "I have a kid... that's my mother"
-11/26/07 (how would that even work? she clearly got distracted with her 'kid' story when her mother showed up)

Max R: "We should ask sounds crew about that"
Ciara: "SoundS?"
Max R: "Well, they do do sounds!"
-11/29/07 (haha. do-do. I know, I have the maturity level of a 14-year-old)

Amira: "My doctor still doesn't know what's wrong with my lungs, but in the meantime, he prescribed me ALTOIDS!"
-1/20/08 (she meant 'steroids'! but she called them altoids like 4 other times, too!)

Ciara: "Didn't you come in here a half hour ago to find Maddie? What did you need her for?"
Leslie: "Oh, yeah, I was going to call that guy"
-1/23/08 (she was going to ask Maddie for a guy's phone number)

Andrew: "We need a lineset divvy-up"
Ciara: "It's called a 'Lineset Schedule'"
Andrew: "Well, 'lineset divvy-up' sounds cooler"
Leslie: "Yeah, and it rhymes!"
Ciara: "No it doesn't!"
Leslie: "Yes it does: line-set-divvy... shut up!"
-3/13/08

Jenny: "I forgot to go to school today... I mean tomorrow... I mean yesterday!"
-3/13/08 (this particular mistake happens a LOT with my kids)

Ciara: "Leslie!!"
Devin: "Hold on, Ciara, Leslie's thumb is stuck in her hair"
-3/26/08 (and it was! well, her thumb ring was at least)

Helen: "I have to work at Zingerman's Deli tomorrow. We're learning knife safety"
Ciara: "I learned knife safety once"
Helen: "That's just because you grew up in Detroit"
-3/26/08 (wow! actually, it was because I also worked at a deli once!)

Ciara: "How can I get the radio to work?"
Josh: "You have to hit it to make it work, like children"
-3/17/08 (yikes!)

Andrew: "Can I put you down as a reference on a job application?"
Ciara: "But you don't even know how to spell my name!"
Andrew: "Yes, I do! C-A... I mean, C-I-R... I spelled it right on the application!"
-4/3/08

Erik: "Do you know how much it would suck to be a Pokemon?"
-4/19/08 (Erik was getting philosophical)

Erik: "It's a portable curl that you can carry in your pocket and whip out whenever you need it!"
-4/19/08 (after Devin's haircut, there was an intact curl on the floor)

Alec: "Actors are like babies: they eat, they poop, and they do things to get attention"
-4/21/08 (can't argue that)

Rae: "Okay, you guys, think like a staple gun"
-4/24/08 (she lost it somewhere and that was her strategy to find it)

Jenny: "Is the meeting right now or what?"
Amira: "I'M eating now"
-4/26/08 (Amira can't hear anything!)

Erik: "Yeah, he's going to yell at us earlier"
-5/5/08 (see?)

Devin: "Lassie got mad at me because she was venting her anger and I hit it out"
Ciara: "You hit her anger out?"
Devin: "No, the bolt!"
-5/8/08 (look, sometimes they don't give me enough details when they tell stories!)

Ciara: "It's like that time someone yelled at me in the shop saying that I don't care about my job. I love my job!"
Ashley: "What's your job?"
-6/2/08 (isn't my job obvious? she meant, 'why did she accuse you of that?')

:) Yay, quotes. And yay for summer vacation!

By the way, if you would like to read more of the quotes from my kids (including this year's seniors' quote archives), click below:
2006-2007 Quotes
2005-2006 Quotes
2004-2005 Quotes