Speak Up, Child!
Sorry I have been a little out of touch... Needless to say, I've been a little busy planning a wedding and such. :) But I can't possibly end this school year without sharing with you my students' ridiculous quotes! (Admittedly, I also have some of ridiculous quotes myself...) It is one of my favorite traditions.
For those new to ciarastar - HI! Nice to see you! I work in a high school theatre scene shop, and 8 years ago we started making a "Quote Wall" of random things people say around the shop. With all of the chaos and volume of a bunch of teenagers with power tools, we never fail to fill it up by the end of the year.
To visually give you an idea of what being on my crew is like, here is what happened when I asked three of my juniors to smile for a photo backstage:
Thanks, Alex, for being cooperative! One out of three kids doing what I ask is actually pretty good for us!
Without further ado, here are our quotes. The theater staffers' names have a star next to them... just in case you can't tell. :)
Ciara*: "You know what happens when people put the 1 1/4" screws in the 1 5/8" screw bucket?"
Alex: "God strikes them down."
Ciara*: "Um, people end up using the wrong-sized screws."
Alex: "That, too. But mostly God strikes those people down."
Ciara*: "This set keeps moving while I work on it. It's like an amoeba."
Alex: "You're an amoeba."
Ciara*: "I AM an amoeba..."
(I don't listen to myself when I talk... clearly)
Alex: "So I was thinking of changing Dylan's music to something embarrassing. When I tried to think of what would be embarrassing on his ipod, all I could come up with was a track of him crying."
Ciara*: "What are you DOING? Are you trying to kill Mysti?"
Dylan: "Sorry, I forgot that was on wheels."
(she was standing on a rolling platform full of stair units and he jumped on it. I actually had to make a rule a few years ago about this: "don't stand on things just because they have wheels on them!" wheels are irresistible to teens.)
Danny: "The directors can't cut the abortion or the suicide out of the script - that's like comedy gold! I mean, 'competition' gold!"
("competition" is our play that that travels and competes... and it's true, the sadder the script, the more the judges like it sometimes - but either way, those things aren't comedy!)
J: "We should totally get full-body black suits for backstage."
Dylan: "That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard."
J: "You work with Rianna and Alex for 3 hours a day - that can't possibly be the stupidest thing you've ever heard!"
Ciara*: "We need to move the chandelier off the stage before acting class tomorrow."
Danny: "Yeah, the actors may kick it... and throw water on it."
(that is what actors do)
Alex: "The actors are complaining that I don't bring in the scenery fast enough."
Mysti* & Ciara*, in unison: "Never listen to the actors!!"
(trust the experts!)
Markus: "Text me when the crewhead list is posted! I've been waiting since Wednesday!"
Ciara*: "I'm not going to text you. This will be a good test of patience for you."
Markus: "But I've already failed! So you may as well text me!"
(can't beat his logic)
*after being cast in a dance number to "The Time Of My Life" for our talent show*
Sena: "I can't do the number!! I can't dance like Patrick Swayze! NO ONE CAN!!"
(but he DID!)
Ciara*: "I thought this platform would be wider, but it doesn't work well."
Markus, pointing to the design: "THIS barely works."
Ciara*: "YOU barely work! ...haha, that was a good one!"
(that was a good one!)
Ciara*: "Markus! I need you to re-cut Cully's legs!"
(the 2'-by-4' platform legs Cully was working on were too long, Cully's human legs were just fine!)
Rianna: "I have chronic hiccups."
Ciara*, working: "It's an inch."
Rianna: "It's not an itch! Hiccups are a tick!"
Ciara*: "I was measuring the wood!"
(classic Rianna thinking of herself while I am trying to work)
Rianna: "Facebook has this new feature that tells people when I died. Oops, I mean when I was born."
Ciara*: "That needs to be fixed. The platforms aren't aligned."
Dylan: "It's fine! If an audience member can see that, then he is literally an eagle... and I don't care about the opinion of an eagle!"
Maddy: "I have Converse boots"
Ciara*: "Nice, so you can kick things across the floor"
Alex: "Like me!"
Ciara*: "Like platforms!"
Alex: "...yeah... like platforms..."
(interesting first reaction, Alex...)
Dylan: "Ciara said 'originmally' today"
Ciara*: "Whatever, 90% of my speech is gone today"
(I think that sentence proved my point!)
Alex: "Well... it can't get much worse for me..."
*she drops plywood on her toe*
Ciara*: "Can somebody PLEASE put that jack in the box?"
(a "jack" is a theater term for a device that holds up a wall... and I needed it stored in a space called "the box"!)
Ciara*: "Wow! That staple is HUGE!"
Dylan: "Why does Ciara get excited about the stupidest stuff?"
*as Alex coils up sound cables*
Ciara*: "What paper plate award did you get?"
Alex: "I don't remember... oh, yeah, the 'coiling award'!"
Susan*: "Rianna, I can sympathize with your desire to ruin Ciara's life."
(good sign when my boss says that to one of my students...!)
Alex: "Do you guys think that all of your years working with children have made you better listeners?"
Ciara*: "No way."
Mysti*: "Made us better what?"
(you can't make stuff like this up!)
Dylan: "Luke is the nicest guy ever - I have literally never heard anyone besides him in the sets shop say, 'Wow, that was a great day!'."
*the crew was putting 2'-by-4' legs on platforms*
Justin: "This is like Thanksgiving at my house!"
(people were passing around tools like dishes of food!)
Ciara*: "You really should be helping them."
Alex: "I was, but then I started getting really angry at the extension cord, and then I started drinking and it all went downhill from there."
(that is how it tends to happen. luckily she was referring to being distracted by apple juice)
Susan*: "I do not appreciate co-mingling in other people's water."
(fair enough - this was in reference to a coupon she got for a hot tub spa)
Mysti*: "It's been such a long week."
Ciara*: "I know, and it's only Wednesday!"
Justin: "It's Thursday."
Ciara*: "Oh. Nevermind, then."
Alex: "I am just going to ask: I know I go to the bathroom a lot and Rianna leaves for hours at a time. But, honestly, where has Dylan been this whole time?"
Ciara*: "At the production meeting"
Rianna: "I can't believe March is almost... over."
-APRIL 28th, 2012
Dylan: "Nothing in my life has not not ended in 2 months."
(say what now?)
Alex: "What could I possibly do in college that could hurt me?"
Dylan: "You could join the track team."
Ah, kids. You're lucky that things like this make up for the hours and hours of hard work and nagging I have to do! Have great summers!
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