Kids Say The Darndest Things

Schuyler: "Aw, Kiki, I'm going to miss you! Over the past four years, you've been like another mother to me... and sometimes like a girlfriend..."
Me: "Ew, no!"
Schuyler: "...and other times like a cool aunt... but mostly you've been like a wonderful grandmother to me!"

Oh, my. What can I say? Seriously, though: what can I say?
And we'll just ignore the fact that they call me "Kiki" at work...

Here we are again, friends! Another school year has passed and my crew kids have yet again filled up the "quote wall" with words on little scraps of paper. This year the shop has been overrun with sophomores, which is great because I'll get to witness their antics for another two years. :)

Speaking of their antics, teenagers bicker a lot. I came up with a clever (if I do say so myself) acronym for what the kids should do when they argue, instead of just continuing to fight indefinitely (which is the default):

W : Walk away from the situation
A : Alert Ciara or Mysti what's going on
R : Return to work

Appropriate, huh? Best part: that acronym came to me in a dream!

Anyway, let's get back to the reason why we're here: quotes! For clarity's sake, I have put a little * next to the name if that person is my co-worker. Surprisingly, it's hard to tell just by the quote!

This perfectly summarizes the shop under my watch. :)

Mysti*: "God is hilarious!"
(He could be? 'God' is the name of a play)

Rennie: "Sets crew is like watching TV"
Ciara: "Ug. Tell them to get back to work then!"
Rennie: "No! They aren't watching TV, they are LIKE a TV show!"
('sets crew is, like, watching TV', you know?)

Ciara: "We are slowly but surely..."
Eric: "Getting stuff done?"
Ciara: "Hahahaha, oh no. I was going to say �losing all of our tape measures'"
(aw, adorable optimism!)

Alex: "Um. Yeah. Sure. Right"
Dylan: "You see, you can't speak English!"
Alex: "I can sing perfect English!"
(but can she speak it? doesn't seem like it)

Anna: "This figure would be way easier to draw if we had a model in heels. Where's Russell?"
(Russell happened to be playing a drag role in 'Hairspray'... and he looked great in heels!)

Mysti*: "If anyone breaks my legs, I'm gonna be PISSED"
(understandably so! she meant the legs of the platform)

Eric: "Stop letting me distract you!"
(it's always someone else's fault, isn't it?)

Ciara: "Dylan wrongly thinks that he doesn't have to wear goggles when using the saw. He thinks it's just as good to close his eyes!!"
Dylan: "What's the worst that can happen?"
Ciara: "You can cut your finger off!"
Dylan: "You're going to cut your finger off ANYWAY"
Ciara: !!!

Alex: "Hey dad! ...and by �dad' I mean �Rianna'..."
(simple mistake?)

Ciara: "Did you get something to eat?"
Alex: "I got some apple peels at church, so I'm good"
(she was serious)

Kate*: "Ciara, I think your crew is the best-behaved crew of the day"
Ciara: "Thanks for the sarcasm!"
Kate*: "I wasn't being sarcastic"
Ciara: "Oh..."
(whoops, of course. ha. ha. right.)

Ciara: "Did you see that the acting teacher put a coat hook in the piano storage room?"
Dylan: "Where did he put his cookbook?"
(so young, so deaf)

Ciara: "I'm going to send you an email reminder tonight"
Mysti*: "A reminder about what?"
Ciara: "Exactly"

Dylan: "Aaron wants the set theme to be Art Deco, which is art from the... �deco' period"
(nice try!)

Ciara: "The latter represents..."
Dylan: "The latter?? I hate that word! I always think it's a misspelling of the word �later'!"
(the kid has strong opinions!)

Dylan, singing to himself: "...I want to make believe with you and live in..."
Ciara: "...harmony, harmony..."
Dylan: "You know that song?"
Ciara: "Yes. I, unlike you, was alive when that song came out"
Dylan: "I thought Robot Unicorn Attack made up that song!"
Ciara: "There's a game called �Robot Unicorn Attack'?"
Dylan: "Yes, and I just got the Christmas Edition!"
(this sums up our generational gap so well!)

Ciara: "Mysti! Dylan's being insolent!"
Dylan: "What does that mean?"
Ciara: "It means you're disrespectful of us"
Dylan: "So what then? I'm always insolent!"

Alex: "Colors are for the foolish"
(Alex reminds me of a young me, always making big claims she has no evidence for)

Ciara: "Everything I am thinking about today is underwater"
Evan: "WHaaat??!"
(appropriate reaction, I have no idea what I was talking about!)

Eric: "There's more important work to do than sorting wood"
Alex: "I know! Tell Dylan I shouldn't be sorting wood then!"
Eric: "I meant for the tape measure, not for you"

Dylan: "She's such a prude!"
Ciara: "What? Really?"
Dylan: "Yeah, you know, prude � �politely rude'"
Ciara: "That's not what �prude' means!"
Dylan: "What does it mean?"
Anna: "Don't tell him!"
(where does he come up with these things?)

Ciara: "Where have you been? Why aren't you working?"
Alex: "Sorry, I got distracted. I was looking in the mirror"
(it happens a lot, actually)

Kasia*: "Did you know that someone sat ON the polar bear? It was a mess"
(sounds like it?)

Ciara: "Do you have a headache?"
Mysti*: "Yes, but I turned it off"
(I wish I could do that! she turned off the florescent light that was giving her the headache)

Joel*: "If those kids misbehave, I'll just take them out of that scene"
Ciara: "You should tell them that!"
Joel*: "Oh I did!! ... I mean, I haven't told them THAT..."
(what did you tell them, then?)

Ciara: "This platform is a mess. I wish I could say we have higher standards... but we don't"
(sad, but true)

Rianna: "I had a disturbing realization in the bathroom..."
(gross. luckily it was about a fight with Dylan earlier)

Lottie: "Why shouldn't I pet a cat after it's been euthanized?"
(she meant spayed!)

Rianna: "About 50% of my �awake time' is spent asleep"
(that's very true)

Rianna: "So... how was everyone's weekend?"
Dylan: "SHUT UP, Rianna!"
(an honest attempt at a nice conversation denied!)

Kasia*: "The walls in this office look like the guy on the lawn before the ambulance took him! ... oh, don't worry, he was just drunk"
(that means the walls were 'gray')

Eric: "I'm just not going to say anything because I don't really know how to respond..."
(happens a lot, as you may imagine)

Ciara: "The thing about parents is that they talk to their kids, and I HATE that"
(I meant when they gossip!)

Ciara: "Wow, we have a ton of trash"
Rianna: "Yeah, but you know what trash shows..."
In Unison: Ciara: "Waste?" / Rianna: "Love!"
(two sides of the same coin?)

Love it. My job may be exhausting at times, but it certainly isn't boring!

Come back next year for more! I am sure they'll be plenty this this bunch. :)


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