Overheard In The Shop

My oh my. What can I say about the past year working at the high school? It was pretty nutso, as far as high school theater goes, I think! I feel compelled to sum it up in a series of haikus:

About the fall...

Oh Oklahoma!
I thought you'd be dull and lame
But I was so wrong!

About the winter...

At the last minute
We added a musical
What were we thinking??

About the spring...

At one Footloose show,
A dancer fell off the stage!
She's fine, though; I laughed!

About my crew...

All my juniors quit :(
For "important things", "jobs", et(c).
Newbies eased my pain!

There, that just about does it. :) Twitter is teaching me the importance of being succinct!

Anyway, I would like to officially end this school year as I always end school years: by sharing with you all the quotes that my students and I have collected! Thank goodness for traditions, it really gives my mind a creative break. :)

For reference, here is a lovely picture of our seniors taken by the uber-talented Myra:


2009-2010 Theater Guild Quotes
any staff names have stars after them (I doubt you'll be able to tell by the content or context!)

Ciara*: "I'm going to go to the bathroom"
Ciara leaves, walks back through the shop 3 minutes later
Ciara*: "I'm going to go change my pants!"
(I realized while I was in the bathroom that I was wearing my normal pants and not workpants... is that not what it seemed like I was saying?)

Megha walks in holding a lot of keys
Megha: "Which one is it?"
Nick: "Which one is what?"
Megha, as she walks out: "Nevermind"
(least specific conversation ever!)

Nick: "I'm gonna go date this fella!"
(as in "write a date" on the previous quote)

Mysti works on a crossword puzzle, Ciara looks over her answers
Ciara*: "What's 'Amassa For Tune' mean?"
Mysti*: "Um... 'Amass a fortune'?"
(there are no spaces in crossword answers!)

Nick draws a man eating a hotdog
Devin: "What's that in the back of his mouth? Food?"
Ciara*: "No, that's his areola"
Devin: "You mean his UVULA?"
Ciara*: "Oh... right..."
(yikes! not a good day for me and words)

Erik: "I was in the bathroom because my hands were cold!"
(he wanted to run them under hot water. joke's on him, though: there is no hot water in our bathrooms!)

Mysti*: "Why won't this mexican speedily?"
(somehow the kids started calling a ratchet a 'mexican speed wrench'. when Mysti had issues with one, she turned it into a verb apparently)

Dylan: "How many do we need?"
Nick: "6"
Dylan: "I can only think of Count Dracula now"
Max: "Why?"
Dylan: "Cause he counts stuff!"
(um, does he?)

Devin: "Ciara! Ciara! I am stronger than myself!!"
(I think he meant he could push something that weighed more than he did?)

Alex: "What's going down right now?"
Adam: "The curtain"
Ciara*: "No, it's the striplights"
Alex: "No! I mean, what's happening right now!"
(oh, confusing slang! lots of things literally go up and down on a stage!)

Ciara*: "There's straw all over the place because when ONE person sits on a bale, it sheds everywhere"
Nick: "Just like with a cat"
(don't sit on a cat!)

Mary Michael*, to the actors: "Your makeup doesn't have to be perfect tomorrow... I'd rather have you be costumed and be mic'ed and be eaten..."
(verbs get confusing! she meant "have eaten dinner")

Laura*: "Here is a picture of the pumpkin that I carved"
Ciara*: "Nice! Do you have the seeds?"
Laura*: "Seeds? I don't know what that means, so I clearly don't have them"
(she thought I was changing the conversation to something work-related... but I just wanted to eat pumpkin seeds!)

The character Laurey bursts into a song conversation with her friends during a scene in Oklahoma!
Ciara*: "Sometimes after I talk to my friends about something serious in my life, we spontaneously break out into a choreographed dance"
Susan*: "Mysti and I always dance when we're making the budget"
(banter! it'd be awesome if it was true...)

Dixie: "I'm waiting until the last minute because I'm a bad example and a hypocrite"
Devin: "But that makes you a good leader"
(Devin always has some logical explanation for things he says, but I didn't catch that one!)

Dixie: "Connect to the internet on that piece of paper NOW!"
(I can't explain that!)

Mysti*: "I need 'REST'!"
(don't we all? she was jig-sawing out the word "futurestars" from 3 pieces of wood - the middle one happens to spell "rest"!)

Ruby: "Dan, guess who I ran into? Your dad!"
Dan: "Sam??" [a student who graduated two years ago]
Ruby: "Uh, no... your DAD"
(and that's when we all awkwardly found out that Dan considered Sam his "acting father"!)

Ciara*: "... and she needs to get a biopsy"
Nick, just entering the conversation: "Who, your MOM?"
Ciara*: "Yeah"
Nick: "oh, sorry"
(that'll teach him to use "your mom" jokes! mom's fine, by the way)

Dylan, reading a Cracker Jack joke card: "What did the alien say to the plant?"
Devin: "What?"
Dylan: "'What do planets read?' hahahaha."
Dylan walks away laughing
Ciara*: "I don't get it."
Devin, reading the joke again: "Dylan read the beginning of two different jokes!"
(guess it doesn't take much to make Dylan laugh, even if it's not really a joke! the answers to the two jokes are, "take me to your weeder" and "comet books", respectively)

Andrew: "Mysti, why do you have a gender-changer in your office?"
(as in a cord that changes the "male" end of a cord to a "female" end, of course... we all knew that right away, right?)

Mysti*: "Brian, do you have any husband prospects for Ciara?"
Ciara*: "I'm looking for health benefits"
Mysti*: "Yeah, Brian, do you have any friends with benefits?"
Brian*: "Oh, I do!"
(never heard Mysti's question in terms of "health insurance"... and I don't think that's how Brian was answering it!!)

Megha: "We now have a place backstage to put props. So, if you have a prop, let me know so I can put it in my special place"
(now we all feel awkward!)

Ciara*: "Aw, want to hear something sad?"
Miriam, enthusiastically: "YESSS!"
(I think she was just happy to hear ANY story!)

Joe: "Hey Sound Crew - I had all your email addresses, but then there was an incident with a fire, and now I don't have them anymore"
(don't really want to know the backstory on that one...)

Ciara*: "This piece of wood is so light! It doesn't even feel like a 2-by-4"
Maddy: "Just like my cousin!"
(she meant her cousin is lighter than she looks... although it IS likely that she also doesn't feel like a 2-by-4!)

Dixie: "I just found out that Kasia is from Poland!"
Ciara*: "Where did you think she was from?"
Dixie: "I don't know - I just knew she was from SOMEwhere"
(aren't we all from "somewhere"?)

Ciara*, in frustration: "Oh, jew!!"
(oops! I combined "oh geez!" and "oh shoot"!)

Joe: "Can you talk?"
Jason: "How do I talk?"
Joe: "Here, I'll show you..."
(over our walkie-talkie system)

Dixie: "I dropped the stairs! I did it all by myself!"
(it's not hard to drop a staircase by yourself! she was trying to CARRY it "all by herself" and dropped it)

Devin: "It's Tios' day!"
Ciara*: "No, it's Monday"
(Tios is a local restaurant who was catering our dinner that night... I just thought Devin was mumbling!)

Ciara*: "Dylan! Be careful!"
Dylan: "Why is everyone always telling me to be careful?"
Mysti*: "It's just our maternal instinct"
Dylan: "What on earth is a 'turtle instinct'??"
(only a freshman and he's mishearing like a pro)

Kasia*: "My pants are wet. WHY??"
(I like when Kasia says things out loud that should be said just in her head!)

Ciara*: "Hey Evan, do you want to get with your supervisor?"
(I meant for a picture! of course!)

Ciara*: "I tried to buy 'Somebody's Eyes' on Amazon, but it wasn't worth it. I like ours so much more"
(when I said it aloud, it wasn't obvious that I was referring to a song!)

Ciara*: "Is he wet or is that just what he looks like?"
(I thought a kid had just come in from the rain, but I guess it was just his hairstyle)

Mysti*: "Then there was the chainsaw accident, when he dropped it on his foot... while running"
Ciara*: "Why would anyone run with a chainsaw?"
Mysti*: "While the chainsaw was running!"
(not my fault! Mysti put the qualifier in the wrong place!)

Joe: "My birthday is on a Tuesday today"
(that day wasn't even a Tuesday! he meant "this year". kids have a warped sense of time)


Thanks, kids and coworkers, for being so wonderfully random (and for putting up with my randomness!). Have a great summer everyone! I'll miss all you graduates terribly!


previous next comment


All works copyrighted by Ciara Stella