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The Year Of The Baby
02.25.08


I have officially coined 2008 as the "Year Of The Baby". You can now label your calendars as such (in permanent marker, of course).

I am friends with eleven couples who have had or are having a total of twelve babies in 2008. Eleven couples!! And nine of those couples are first-time parents. I thought that the two years that I was invited to eight weddings were unbelievable, but this... this involves my friends making entirely new people! Yikes!

Oh, and if you want to get in on the action, it's not too late. :) Although, I am warning you, when you tell me, I might pass out. It's a lot for aunty Ciara to handle!

Luckily, and thankfully, the baby-growth in those eleven mommas' bellies has been going well so far, and there have already been four healthy births (welcome Lincoln, Ria, Emry, and Mercy into the world!). Babies ev'rywhere! Let's keep praying for the other mommies and babies-to-come.

This past weekend I co-hosted my first baby shower of the year, for two of my bestest friends from high school, Katrina and Meighan. I think it turned out pretty well, and there was all sorts of cuteness going on:


Cuteness indeed!

My job, as always, was to come up with a fun-yet-non-embarrassing shower game. So I made this quiz about crazy new baby products. Can you guess which ones exist (meaning they are patented inventions and/or are being sold) and which ones came from my (or the internet's) imagination?

Play along! And, if you're an expectant/new mother or father, too, then you can maybe learn about some new thing your baby will have to have. :)

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Wacky New Baby Products: Real or Fake?
highlight the area under each product to find out the answer

*
1. Baby Bling-Bling
(this over-sized, swallow-proof line of faux gemstones will make your infant sparkle)
FAKE. Baby jewelry does exist, but they are very small & delicate. The closest thing I could find online doesn't fit my description. :)
related link: here

*
2. Baby Sleeping Cage
(this is an oval-shaped dome with crossbars that safely covers your baby when he sleeps in your bed, so that you can't roll over him)
REAL. I actually don't think it's a bad idea! Not to be confused with the fictitious dog-crate-esque "baby cage" (link below).
related links: here, and here

*
3. Bullet-Proof Cribs
(ensures your baby is safe in any situation)
FAKE. Actually part of a fake bullet-proof baby line of products used to promote "Shoot Em Up".
related link: here

*
4. Butt Patter
(this mechanical arm and soft-mitten device attaches to the side of the crib and automatically and repetitively pats your baby's rear as he falls asleep)
REAL. Things like this get invented when new parents get tired.
related link:
here

*
5. Cuddle Cat
(this stuffed-animal cat purrs, vibrates softly, and is specially made to cuddle your baby to sleep)
FAKE. They do have (scary) robotic kitty toys, but they are not made just for comforting your baby!
related link: here

*
6. Cry-No-More Pacifier
(this pacifier has rubber bands attached to it that fit around your baby's ears, so he literally can't spit it out)
REAL. It's been described by some websites to be the "Hannibal Lector pacifier". You can judge for yourself.
related link: here

*
7. Automatic Diaper Changer
(why not let this simple hand-operated device do the dirty work for you?)
FAKE. Oh, it would be nice, though... I guess some things we've just got to keep doing ourselves for a little while longer...
related link: here

*
8. Baby DVD Player
(with this dvd player that attaches to any crib, baby can be soothed to sleep with his favorite movies)
FAKE. There are plenty small dvd players, but none made specifically to hang on a crib. There are CD Players for cribs, and I think we can all agree that makes more sense!
related link: here

*
9. Baby Hanger
(place baby in this backpack-type holder, and safely hang it on the back of a public restroom door so you can have your hands free if you need them)
REAL. Actually called the BabyKeeper, this is a great idea (assuming it is strong enough!).
related link: here

*
10. Baby Helmet
(this soft-but-strong helmet prevents injuries while your baby is learning how to walk)
REAL. Of course something like this exists! Parents these days will buy all sorts of things to protect their little ones.
related link: here

*
11. Highly-Creative High-Chair
(when baby spills liquids on the special tray, the surface changes color, so baby's messes become little works of art; returns to white when dry)
FAKE. Yes, this came out of my own brain. Before you steal the idea and patent it yourself: think about whether parents will want to encourage their kids to spill!
related link: here

*
12. Pee-Pee Teepee
(made to block his squirts while you're changing his diaper)
REAL. Even though I am probably not going to have a baby boy for many years, I am still really happy that this exists!
related link: here

*
13. Prenatal Education System
(wear this device around your pregnant belly and it will play lessons to your baby in utero)
REAL. But you have to wonder... what can a baby actually learn before he is born with this system? You may as well let him enjoy those last months of peace and quiet. :)
related link: here

*
14. Shampoo Hat
(this foam visor blocks shampoo from dripping into baby's eyes)
REAL. It's fashionable and helpful! Those Japanese are always a step ahead with their useful inventions.
related link: here

*
15. Sleep-Speech Saver
(could your baby be saying his first word in his sleep? you don't have to miss it with this mp3 recorder that will activate when the baby makes noises)
FAKE. Of course, you could always rig up your computer to do this for you, like my friend Joel did when he wanted to catch his bizarre sleep-talking.
related link: here

*
16. Spill Guard
(this inverted plastic cone conveniently fits under the seat and tray of any high chair to block spills from hitting the floor)
FAKE. But you'd think it'd be real, right? Maybe the inside of the cone would be harder to clean than the floor?
related link: here

*
17. Baby Temporary Tattoos
(from anchors to hearts, your baby doesn't have to wait until he's 18 to be decorated)
REAL. Who doesn't love a young tattoo enthusiast? Their website shows the happiest tattooed baby in the world!
related link: here

*
18. Toddler Tracking System
(when he wanders off, just press a button on the tracker and a monitor on his wrist will beep until you can find him)
REAL. It's like when you lose your keys... with the small difference being that it's your child instead!
related link: here

*
19. Baby Toupees & Wigs
(help your baby be stylish or sport your favorite star's hairdo)
REAL. Isn't America amazing? Maybe the makers of these baby costume-wigs got the idea from Saturday Night Live?
related links: here, and here

*
20. Babii Wii
(Nintendo's newest video games allows baby to sit in a special seat where he can simulate walking, throwing, playing, and eating)
FAKE. Although, you may as well get your baby started on playing video games early since he'll be doing that most of his life anyway, right? :)
related link: here

*
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(fyi, I used "him" to describe the "baby" in this quiz not because I am stuck in the 1950s... it's because Katrina and Meighan are both expecting boys!)

How'd you do? Isn't this such a great time to be alive? haha.

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