So I have this twitter account, just in case you didn't know. It's just like this, but much shorter, so it actually may please a lot of you. :)

This is my twitter profile picture:

If you read my tweets, I am sure you'll find the picture fitting!

There is this great self-indulgent website called "That Could Be My Next Tweet". You put in your username and it generates what could be a tweet of yours based on mixing up your previous tweets. It's brilliant! Needless to say, I had it make, uh, one or two the other day.

Okay, I had it make like a million!

Some of them read like poetry or deep thoughts. I might even call some of them wise. I am surprised by how often they make sense, considering a robot put them together (that's how the internet works, right?). Why not share some of my favorites? Ok!

Remember, these are entirely composed of words and phrases from my past tweets. Enjoy!

***

I don't want to get ready to see why I HATE comcast!!
(no, I don't need to get ready, I know why!)

*

Happy Happy Birthday!
Saw a 2'-by-4' today.
Happy Birthday!
Hope you working?
(what kind of birthday greeting is that?)

*

I was wearing a passport!
(hope that's not all I was wearing!)

*

Doctors there saved my electric massaging chair.
(thank goodness for those doctors)

*

I was in love living in your favorite SNL sketch.
(I would love that, unless your favorite sketch was "Gilly")

*

I know exercising is fake too! haha what up for theater schedules! that's misleading!
(that all is misleading!)

*

A lucrative food day is not bad.
(true!)

*

Now you're in a coffee grinder with Christopher Walken.
(probably not a situation you want to find yourself in!)

*

I am still working early on BROADWAY in my brain.
(I've done that!)

*

I didn't accidentally trespass onto the English language.
(it was kinda accidental, if you think about it)

*

I finally won 1st place tonight, at least as an honest reason I would stay in the mirror.
(makes you wonder what I won 1st place for)

*

In Deee-troit,
concrete jungle where tax dollars pay for me:
free brunch, cupcake, bubble tea, truffles!
(this one is truly amazing)

*

Looks like it's because as I stopped wearing a picture of cat litter.
(hahaha, wearing a picture of cat litter)

*

My former coworkers were on my brain.
(aw, I do miss them! how did it know?)

*

Lastly here are some of the more emo ones strung into some slam poetry:

Taking my spirit with freezing rain.
A foggy day is not some chocolate chip poptarts.
I was fake.
The irony!
ha.
I understood the hands.
I imagine Betrayal is trying to retrace my heart, but I'm glad you have a 40-degree day.
I don't like I feel like time was weird, trust me.
Real classes make people think. I think I knew it wasn't.
Later we talk radio.

That's deep, folks. You could sit and think about that for hours. I suggest you take some time and do just that.

:)