"Your apartment is my favorite conglomeration of feminine life that I know"
-Tim 3/24/06 (uh, thanks?)

Well, friends, it's now August, which means that my roommates and I are just about to start our second year living together in a little apartment we lovingly call "The Beach House". And what's a more appropriate way to celebrate our one-year anniversary than posting quotes from us? I mean, that's what you all expect anyway, right? :)

My roommates definitely contributed many nonsensical quotes before we lived together, but their quotes used to be pretty few and far between. Let me share pretty much all of them for y'alls:

Demoree: "I look like a nerd in that picture. I always look like a nerd in pictures- unless I am specifically not trying to look nice... I mean, unless I am trying to look like a nerd, I will look nice... nevermind!"
-12/8/03 (uh, I think I might not know what you mean...!)

Ciara: "I'm glad I got to celebrate your birthday with you when you were actually born- at 3:31am"
Demoree: "I never get to celebrate right on my birthday because of Christmas break and because my birthday usually doesn't happen on my birthday"
-1/4/04 (wait, so when does your birthday happen?)

Karen: "It's scary how close the ceiling is to the wall"
-6/22/04 (I think it would be scarier if the ceiling was far from the wall! she meant her "bed is to the ceiling")

Demoree: "Speaking of Ford Festivas, I was driving on the road"
-1/29/05 (I am glad Demoree started driving on the road! actually, she got distracted and stopped her story a little early!)

*Karen takes a sip of my weird smoothie out of my straw*
Kevin: "It's like you're drinking her spit"
Karen: "It doesn't taste that bad"
-2/7/05 (she meant the smoothie, not my spit, I think)

That's pretty much it! Can you believe it? I had known these girls for 5 years before we moved in together and they only had five quotes between them! I think that's pretty impressive- they definitely were, for the most part, very aware and conscious of what they were saying... well, at least when I was around them. :)

Ha-ha, but all that's changed this year! Ah yes, now my roommates say all sorts of things that don't make sense! I would like to say I've been a good influence on them, but I think that might depend on your definition of "good".

For your reading pleasure, here are some of the conversations you might have heard if you got to hang around The Beach House this year:

Karen: "Well, his parents always felt like they were forced into doing things, so when they became family-owners themselves..."
-9/7/05 (haha! you mean "parents"?)

Ciara: "Oh, look! A butterfly just drove by!"
-9/10/05 (or it may have flown by the window! I love this quote, if I do say so myself!)

Kevin: "I am almost am caught up with 'The OC' now"
Ciara: "Yeah, you have 13 counting 30 episodes left"
-9/11/05 (I meant "counting Thursday". I mixed it with the movie "13 Going On 30"!)

Demoree: "I hate driving over train tracks! The ones in Novi aren't bad, but the ones in Wixom are like driving over a bunch of dead bodies"
-9/17/05 (wow, what an unexpected analogy! how do you know, Demoree?)

Demoree: "Yeah, there is this new search engine called del.icio.us that searches for key words in people's bookmarks. So let's say I wanted to look up, like, 'Old British Men'..."
-9/30/05 (why??)

Ben: "At Sea Shell City, they have a 500-pound man-eating clam"
Karen: "Why would anyone want to watch a 500-pound man eat clam?"
-11/11/05 (I can see mishearing that!)

Demoree: "I don't have time to do that right now because I am actually making Natalie's baby"
-11/29/05 (woah! she left the important words "shower invitations" off the end!)

*phone rings*
Karen: "I can't answer the phone- I've got poop in my hands!"
-12/12/05 (she had a baggy of kitty poop in her hands- she was cleaning Zooey's litter box!)

*watching Jr. Lingo on GSN*
Ciara: "I think that kids can be smarter than adults- look at how many random words they know"
Demoree: "I think it has to do with... access to conversation"
-12/16/05 (haha. because kids have more access to conversations than adults?)

Ciara: "I need to go to the dentist again, my teeth feel fuzzy"
Demoree: "Yeah, mine smell fuzzy, too!"
-12/17/05 (hm. smell... fuzzy?)

Ciara: "I knew there was footballs in this movie!"
-1/15/06 (look, talking's difficult sometimes!)

Ciara: "I am feeling unemotionally attached"
-1/16/06 (it means the same thing as "emotionally detached", right?)

Karen: "You know, because Demoree is so... catty!!"
-1/22/06 (Demoree's not catty! Karen got distracted by Zooey)

Karen: "This place looks cleaner"
Demoree: "Yeah, Zooey did all of the laundry"
-1/22/06 (now I'd like to see that! she meant, "Ciara washed all of the dishes"!)

Demoree: "I don't think I'll ever be under 20 again"
-1/26/06 (nope, Dem, it's doubtful you'll go back in time... she meant she won't get mistaken for being younger than 20 again!)

Karen: "You know why I had to move those boxes into the living room? Because somebody kept jumping on my knob last night!"
-2/1/06 (yikes! oversharing! just kidding, Zooey was using some boxes by Karen's door to try and attack her doorknob!)

Ciara: "This milk is so gross"
Karen: "Are you still eating that?"
-2/9/06 (usually "drinking", right? but it was actually very apt because our so-called "refrigerator" froze my milk!)

Ciara: "Karen, you always flees and praise"
-2/16/06 (what happened there? I meant 'freeze in plays' because she's played a robot, a mannequin, etc)

*As she jumps out of the chair and runs down the hall*
Karen: "I have to go do number two!"
-2/19/06 (again, I don't think I needed to know that! but she meant the second dose of her cough medicine)

Demoree: "I can't relate to these sports and war analogies- I mean, I LIKE war, but..."
-2/26/06 (you like war? I think she meant as a story!)

Demoree: "I can't talk and have a conversation at the same time!"
-2/26/06 (haha. I think it would be harder to do one without the other!)

Karen: "What is a pop-o-matic bubble?"
-3/8/06 (huh, not a question you hear everyday. I guess she never played the board game Trouble!)

Demoree: "Are the people next door smoking?"
Karen: "Yeah, it smells like smoke really badly in the bathroom"
Demoree: "Gross. We should ask them to go outside to smoke"
Karen: "Yeah, it's ridiculous. Oh, by the way, I just blew out a candle"
-3/8/06 (uh, so was it the smoking neighbors or could the smoke been from the candle?)

Ciara: "Well, it's like I tell people... oh, I want to borrow those shoes! Sorry, I meant to say, it's like when I tell people... dangit, they are too big!"
-3/12/06 (man, it's really difficult to tell a story when I see a new pair of Demoree's shoes!)

Ciara: "Maybe if I unplug the router, the internet will come back. What is the name of this movie you're watching?"
Karen: "I just turned it on. I think it's called something like..."
Ciara: "Oh, it's the Broadband Network that's out"
Karen: "No, that's definitely not the name of the movie!"
-3/15/06 (haha. I was talking about why the internet was down!)

Karen: "I like wearing pants... sometimes"
-3/15/06 (as opposed to summer skirts and shorts)

Demoree: "I drank coffee in the afternoon tonight"
-3/15/06 (awesome! well, which is it?)

Ciara: "My mom all of a sudden got it in her head that a panda is more related to a raccoon than it is to a bear"
Demoree: "What IS a raccoon?"
-3/18/06 (nice! she meant like genus or family or whatever)

Demoree: "They've been responding pretty well to our bathroom problems"
-3/18/06 (that's sweet of them! she was referring to the maintenance guys with our leaky bathtub)

Ciara: "Your body needs sleep, especially mine"
-3/18/06 (classic! I meant "your" in the general sense!)

Ciara: "Did you do an underwear-check before Joel went into our room?"
-3/23/06 (of course, I meant did she check the floor for underwear before a boy went in our room!)

Karen: "Joel just whatevered you, Demoree"
-3/24/06 (she meant "instant messaged", but it just sounds bad!)

Ciara: "Sink your flesh into this, Zooey"
-3/25/06 (I meant "sink your teeth into this" toy!)

Demoree: "All of my thoughts are completely half-formed"
-3/29/06 (completely half? love it!)

Demoree: "I have a zit on my eyeball! Now how did that happen??"
-4/19/06 (how would that happen?? she meant eye"brow"!)

Demoree: "I was just thinking about that yesterday... I mean 2 months ago"
-5/2/06 (well, they're pretty much the same, right?)

Demoree: "Do a dingbats... that's what I always say"
-5/4/06 (she always says that? I wanted to know which symbol font she would recommend!)

Karen: "Did you see Mike's pictures of the zoo?"
Demoree: "Yeah, they were cute!"
Karen: "Did you see the gibbon sitting up all slumped over?"
Demoree: "We should take a picture of Ciara when she sits like that and compare!"
Ciara: "I sit like that?"
Demoree: "Oh, I meant Zooey!"
-5/13/06 (do we really look that similar??)

Karen: "I've had my dickey days"
-5/13/06 (it's just an interesting way to say "I used to wear dickeys")

Ciara: "Did you know that there are naturally carbonated streams in Europe?"
Karen: "In my what??!"
-5/19/06 ("Europe" does sound like "your..." something... I guess!)

Demoree: "Thanks for... thanks for... you know... uh... taking care of my meat"
-5/25/06 (you mean when I defrosted it for you?)

Ciara: "The wedding is on the 24th?"
Demoree: "No, it's on the 4th... Well, not the 4th, but the 4th weekend, which makes it the 2nd or something"
-5/30/06 (now that was confusing! "the weekend of July 4th", not the 4th weekend of the month!)

Karen: "You're blowing that floaty raft up by hand?"
-6/16/06 (by mouth! close enough)

Karen: "I imagine it'd be really hard to remember blah blah blah, you know?"
-6/16/06 (remembering blah blah blah would be hard! she was referring to remembering trivia as a game show contestant)

Demoree: "I have a headache"
Ciara: "You want to lie down or take something?"
Demoree: "No, I just want to drink something liquid"
-6/30/06 (what else do you drink besides a liquid?)

Demoree: "The temperature in Traverse City is only 58 degrees right now"
Ciara: "But what's the temperature there right NOW in Michigan?"
-7/6/06 (that was a disaster! I meant "what's the temperature here right now?")

Karen: "It's all about the Benjamins"
Demoree: "Who is on the $50 bill? Franklin?"
Karen: "No, Franklin's not on any bills!"
-7/7/06 (uh, Franklin is the same person as Benjamin!)

Demoree: "When I was a kid, I didn't not mind wearing no clothes... I didn't NOT mind it is what I'm trying to say"
-7/8/06 (wait, what were you trying to say?)

Demoree: "It's got this great plotline and you have to keep tuning in because... there's like a huge ant on the wall!"
-8/5/06 (I don't know if I'd want to watch that show! actually, she got distracted halfway through the story. we all get distracted pretty easily around here if you haven't been able to tell!)

Are we all a good match or not? Hope you enjoyed this little trip through the words of my apartment- here's to more absurdity this year!